WEBVTT 00:01.210 --> 00:07.310 When great harm is done to us, it can be very difficult to forgive. 00:08.370 --> 00:14.190 When someone sins against us, they rip us apart and cause such a great 00:14.260 --> 00:15.760 wound within us. 00:16.129 --> 00:20.062 We may feel that it is impossible to forgive that person who has done 00:20.116 --> 00:26.774 such a thing to us, the sin can cut so deep into the very heart of 00:26.812 --> 00:27.720 who we are. 00:30.330 --> 00:34.200 Joe fell in love with Emma when they were in college. 00:35.210 --> 00:37.160 They had two children together. 00:37.770 --> 00:43.098 He was a software engineer, and she was a middle school teacher in the 00:43.104 --> 00:44.060 public school. 00:44.590 --> 00:45.786 They had two children. 00:45.888 --> 00:47.500 They enjoyed their life together. 00:48.430 --> 00:54.794 But he'll tell you that the day he found out that she was pregnant 00:54.842 --> 00:59.390 with their third child was a day that he'll never forget. 01:00.130 --> 01:04.882 In fact, as he tells the story, he was on the deck of their house 01:05.016 --> 01:07.294 grilling hot dogs and hamburgers. 01:07.422 --> 01:11.794 The kids were playing in the yard with the dog, and she had come home 01:11.832 --> 01:17.614 from work, and so she walks up behind him and says, I'm pregnant 01:17.662 --> 01:18.162 again. 01:18.296 --> 01:20.274 I'm going to have a third child. 01:20.472 --> 01:22.854 Joe immediately was so excited about it. 01:22.892 --> 01:23.506 Oh, my goodness. 01:23.538 --> 01:25.398 This is great, wonderful news. 01:25.564 --> 01:29.370 Until she said, but you have to know that I've been seeing someone 01:29.440 --> 01:31.420 else, and I think it's his. 01:32.750 --> 01:37.050 Well, the hamburgers and the hot dogs never made it off the grill. 01:37.470 --> 01:41.190 He turned off the grill, went into the garage, got into the car, and 01:41.200 --> 01:44.990 he spent all night driving all the streets of the town. 01:45.730 --> 01:48.094 He kept thinking about that moment. 01:48.292 --> 01:53.186 He kept rehearsing in his head over and over what he had heard, and he 01:53.208 --> 01:57.060 kept saying to himself, I will never forgive her. 01:57.590 --> 01:59.906 I will never forgive her. 02:00.088 --> 02:01.442 Over and over again 02:01.496 --> 02:07.014 as he replayed the scenario, his conclusion at the end of it was, I 02:07.052 --> 02:09.240 will never forgive her. 02:12.490 --> 02:18.486 When great trauma happens to us, we often will replay it in our head 02:18.588 --> 02:20.460 over and over and over again. 02:21.230 --> 02:25.194 We'll also tell it to people over and over again. 02:25.312 --> 02:29.046 And whatever conclusions we've made from that trauma, we will repeat 02:29.078 --> 02:32.540 that over and over again. 02:33.230 --> 02:38.586 The psychological term for this is cognitive looping. Is we will loop 02:38.618 --> 02:42.414 the event over and over again in our mind over and over again as we 02:42.452 --> 02:43.006 tell it. 02:43.108 --> 02:48.986 And as we keep telling the story, it becomes so embedded into our soul 02:49.178 --> 02:54.526 that we cannot think anywhere else except that this is the most 02:54.628 --> 02:58.918 unforgivable thing that someone has ever done to us. 02:59.084 --> 02:59.780 It becomes so 03:00.090 --> 03:02.734 embedded in a part of us thinking that way. 03:02.852 --> 03:04.490 And that's how it happened for Joe. 03:04.570 --> 03:09.374 He had embedded this into his soul as the most unforgivable thing that 03:09.412 --> 03:12.240 someone has ever done to him. 03:13.090 --> 03:19.902 And the looping of unforgiveness is this spiral that spirals you down 03:19.956 --> 03:22.110 into this deep, dark pit. 03:22.770 --> 03:29.446 And as you spiral down into this deep, dark pit of unforgiveness, you 03:29.468 --> 03:31.810 get angry, you get bitter. 03:31.970 --> 03:36.966 You yourself then end up sinning and doing things or saying things and 03:36.988 --> 03:43.034 thinking things that are ungodly because of the unforgiveness that you 03:43.072 --> 03:47.066 have toward whoever it is that has done whatever they have done to 03:47.088 --> 03:47.706 you. 03:47.888 --> 03:53.038 And the midst of spiraling in this unforgiveness kind of thing that 03:53.043 --> 04:02.698 you end up in this looping, we forget about the great gift, which is 04:02.724 --> 04:07.380 the forgiveness that God gives to us through his Son, Jesus Christ. 04:08.790 --> 04:13.170 Well, Joe was definitely looping. 04:13.829 --> 04:19.122 He definitely was in this spiral of unforgiveness with the conclusion 04:19.186 --> 04:21.894 always being, I will never forgive her. 04:22.091 --> 04:24.262 It was causing him all kinds of problems. 04:24.396 --> 04:26.962 He was angry, he was bitter. 04:27.106 --> 04:28.594 He was short tempered. 04:28.722 --> 04:30.330 He began to drink. 04:31.230 --> 04:35.498 And with the encouragement of some of his fellow friends, he went to 04:35.504 --> 04:36.885 go see his pastor. 04:37.078 --> 04:38.842 And of course, what did he do? 04:38.976 --> 04:42.986 He told the story, the story that he had been telling in his head and 04:43.008 --> 04:47.102 telling to other people the story that had been looping in his life 04:47.236 --> 04:49.534 over and over and over again. 04:49.652 --> 04:51.502 He told all the details of it. 04:51.556 --> 04:55.394 He said, I was so excited we were going to have a third child and end 04:55.432 --> 05:00.766 to find that she had been sleeping with someone else. All those nights 05:00.798 --> 05:04.580 she said that she was in her classroom at school working. 05:04.970 --> 05:07.320 She was really spending it with him. 05:07.850 --> 05:08.774 I loved her. 05:08.812 --> 05:09.654 I trust her. 05:09.692 --> 05:11.158 I sacrificed for her. 05:11.244 --> 05:15.480 And yet she loved and trust and sacrificed for some other guy. 05:17.630 --> 05:21.980 He was just so angry about the situation. 05:23.470 --> 05:27.882 And of course, he told the story that he had been embedded into his 05:27.936 --> 05:29.174 heart and soul. 05:29.302 --> 05:31.770 He shared that all with his pastor. 05:32.830 --> 05:36.765 And of course, the conclusion came to which he had come to from the 05:36.788 --> 05:39.919 very beginning, is that I'll never forgive her. 05:41.730 --> 05:47.039 Pastor empathetically listened as he was telling this story. 05:47.970 --> 05:54.238 And when he was done, his pastor stood up, laid his hand on his head, 05:54.324 --> 05:58.230 on Joe's head, and he said, in the name of the Father, the Son, 05:58.300 --> 05:59.780 and the Holy Spirit, remember. 06:00.000 --> 06:04.366 Remember your baptism and remember that you are a forgiven child of 06:04.388 --> 06:04.960 God. 06:05.810 --> 06:11.998 You see, in the midst of unforgiveness, Joe had remembered something 06:12.084 --> 06:14.270 that he should have never forgotten. 06:15.250 --> 06:18.640 And that was the gift of forgiveness in Christ. 06:19.650 --> 06:23.626 And sometimes, you see, when we get in the midst of being unforgiving, 06:23.738 --> 06:24.830 we forget. 06:25.690 --> 06:28.358 We forget the gift that has been given to us. 06:28.444 --> 06:32.146 We forget the gift that can bring us peace and that can bring us joy. 06:32.258 --> 06:33.430 We forget. 06:33.930 --> 06:38.178 You see, if Joe would have continued to refuse to forgive his wife for 06:38.204 --> 06:42.394 what she has done, well, he would have rejected God's forgiveness for 06:42.432 --> 06:43.130 himself. 06:44.990 --> 06:48.409 So how do we overcome unforgiveness? 06:50.530 --> 06:58.560 Well, we remember we remember the gift of forgiveness in Christ. 07:00.370 --> 07:02.430 We remember our baptism. 07:03.350 --> 07:06.610 The catechism says this about baptism. 07:07.110 --> 07:09.042 Baptism is the it works 07:09.096 --> 07:12.846 forgiveness of sins rescues from death and the devil and gives eternal 07:12.878 --> 07:16.822 salvation to all who believe this as the words and promises of God 07:16.876 --> 07:17.670 declare. 07:18.810 --> 07:20.626 We remember the Lord's Supper. 07:20.738 --> 07:23.426 The catechism says this about the Lord's Supper. 07:23.538 --> 07:28.146 These words given and shed for you, for the forgiveness of sins, show 07:28.188 --> 07:32.794 us that in the sacrament, forgiveness of sins, life and salvation are 07:32.832 --> 07:34.650 given us through these words. 07:34.800 --> 07:38.762 For where there is forgiveness of sins, there is also life and 07:38.816 --> 07:39.690 salvation. 07:41.070 --> 07:48.414 We remember Jesus First John, chapter one, verse seven, says but if we 07:48.452 --> 07:53.106 walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one 07:53.128 --> 07:53.602 another 07:53.736 --> 07:59.890 and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 08:01.190 --> 08:08.854 When great harm comes to us, it is difficult to forgive, but not 08:08.892 --> 08:15.320 impossible, because in those times of unforgiveness, we remember. 08:16.330 --> 08:18.310 We remember our baptism. 08:18.650 --> 08:22.680 We remember the gift of forgiveness in Jesus Christ. 08:23.530 --> 08:26.280 First Peter, chapter 2:24. 08:27.530 --> 08:32.462 He himself bore our sins in his body beyond the tree so that we might 08:32.515 --> 08:37.069 die to sin and live for righteousness. 08:38.610 --> 08:43.230 By his wounds you have been healed. 08:44.530 --> 08:45.050 Amen.