WEBVTT 1 00:00:01.800 --> 00:00:07.500 So I've had the opportunity to be in many situations where people have 2 00:00:07.500 --> 00:00:10.700 been in conflict with one another. For one reason or another 3 00:00:10.700 --> 00:00:15.400 this is kind of become my specialty of dealing with conflict and hope 4 00:00:15.400 --> 00:00:18.000 they walking through people a process of reconciliation. 5 00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:24.400 I've done this with married couples, individuals. For 8 years and I was 6 00:00:24.400 --> 00:00:25.000 in the district office 7 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:27.600 that was one of my primary jobs. 8 00:00:27.600 --> 00:00:30.900 I would be the one who would show up and help walk them through a 9 00:00:30.900 --> 00:00:35.000 process cuz they're in a conflict to hopefully help them to be 10 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:39.700 reconciled with one another. I also had the opportunity to teach about 11 00:00:39.700 --> 00:00:41.100 reconciliation a lot as well. 12 00:00:41.100 --> 00:00:46.000 I've had the opportunity somewhere but we call District reconciles 13 00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:49.500 every district has have out the opportunity to help train and and 14 00:00:49.500 --> 00:00:53.900 teach them how to do what the Synod is asking them to do. Conferences 15 00:00:53.900 --> 00:00:56.100 workshops and many times 16 00:00:56.100 --> 00:00:59.400 you know, when we talk about reconciliation when we talk about 17 00:00:59.400 --> 00:01:04.599 conflict or sin we talk about it terms of someone has sinned against 18 00:01:04.599 --> 00:01:04.800 us. 19 00:01:05.800 --> 00:01:11.900 How can I forgive them for what they have done and it is a difficult 20 00:01:11.900 --> 00:01:12.300 thing. 21 00:01:12.300 --> 00:01:18.400 It's a difficult thing to try to forgive someone else who has terribly 22 00:01:18.400 --> 00:01:21.500 sinned against you and however the way that they have sinned against 23 00:01:21.500 --> 00:01:21.600 you. 24 00:01:22.900 --> 00:01:26.600 But often when I do some of these conferences or workshops and I 25 00:01:26.600 --> 00:01:31.000 present I'll have people who come up to me. And they'll say I have 26 00:01:31.000 --> 00:01:36.200 forgiven so-and-so for this, you know, it wasn't easy to do but that's 27 00:01:36.200 --> 00:01:40.100 a lot easier for me to do then to forgive myself. 28 00:01:41.700 --> 00:01:46.000 In other words are some people who struggle a lot with forgiving 29 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:49.600 themselves for what they have done and the sin that they have 30 00:01:49.600 --> 00:01:52.500 committed against other people. 31 00:01:53.800 --> 00:01:59.300 So for example, not his real name, but this guy comes up to me will 32 00:01:59.300 --> 00:01:59.900 call him Bill. 33 00:01:59.900 --> 00:02:05.300 He says, thanks for the presentation, you know, I've struggled with a 34 00:02:05.300 --> 00:02:07.900 course for giving other people, but I've always been able to come to 35 00:02:07.900 --> 00:02:09.199 the point of being able to do that. 36 00:02:09.199 --> 00:02:14.000 But the thing that is really bothersome to me and I just can't get 37 00:02:14.000 --> 00:02:14.100 over, 38 00:02:15.300 --> 00:02:18.000 is forgiving myself for what I have done. 39 00:02:20.900 --> 00:02:22.100 He says a few years ago. 40 00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:25.700 I had an affair. 41 00:02:27.400 --> 00:02:28.600 I committed adultery. 42 00:02:28.600 --> 00:02:31.400 My wife of course was not happy about it. 43 00:02:31.400 --> 00:02:34.900 Our marriage was on the edge. 44 00:02:36.100 --> 00:02:39.300 I really thought that we'd end up separated and divorced. 45 00:02:41.500 --> 00:02:43.900 But we went to counseling we went to our pastor. 46 00:02:43.900 --> 00:02:45.500 We got help and assistance. 47 00:02:46.900 --> 00:02:49.000 He says I still don't understand this. 48 00:02:50.200 --> 00:02:53.100 But my wife has forgiven me for what I have done. 49 00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:58.200 And she's not using it against me and we are still married to this 50 00:02:58.200 --> 00:02:58.500 day. 51 00:02:59.600 --> 00:03:01.600 It's wonderful, and it's great. 52 00:03:02.700 --> 00:03:06.000 But he says I can't forgive myself for what I have done. 53 00:03:07.100 --> 00:03:10.500 I've tried, I have tried all kinds of things. 54 00:03:10.500 --> 00:03:14.900 he says. I've gone to more therapy more counseling or talk to friends. 55 00:03:14.900 --> 00:03:19.900 I talk to this person that person I tried and I still cannot forgive 56 00:03:19.900 --> 00:03:27.000 myself for how I sinned against her and how I did something that really 57 00:03:27.000 --> 00:03:30.200 was going to destroy our marriage and our in our family. 58 00:03:34.100 --> 00:03:35.500 So I said to him I said, so. 59 00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:38.100 How will you know? 60 00:03:40.200 --> 00:03:41.800 When you have forgiven yourself. 61 00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:48.600 He said no one's ever asked me that before. 62 00:03:48.600 --> 00:03:53.000 How will I know when I have forgiven myself? How are you going to know? 63 00:03:53.000 --> 00:03:58.000 How you going to know when you've actually got to the point of being 64 00:03:58.000 --> 00:04:00.200 able to forgive yourself for what you have done. 65 00:04:02.800 --> 00:04:05.200 He says well I suppose. 66 00:04:06.300 --> 00:04:07.800 I won't think about it anymore. 67 00:04:09.900 --> 00:04:10.700 I said, okay. 68 00:04:11.900 --> 00:04:15.400 So if I understand what you're telling me is that when you no longer 69 00:04:15.400 --> 00:04:21.100 think about it when you can forget and no longer have any memory of 70 00:04:21.100 --> 00:04:27.000 having the affair then that means you have forgiven yourself for what 71 00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:28.100 sin you have committed. 72 00:04:28.100 --> 00:04:30.200 He says that's right. 73 00:04:30.200 --> 00:04:33.200 Why isn't that what the Bible says that we are to forgive and to 74 00:04:33.200 --> 00:04:34.700 forget. So right 75 00:04:34.700 --> 00:04:35.600 that's what I'm trying to do. 76 00:04:37.800 --> 00:04:39.200 Basically this is the problem. 77 00:04:40.700 --> 00:04:46.300 Is that he's never going to forget what he did and the more he tries 78 00:04:46.300 --> 00:04:50.000 to forget it the more he tries not to think about it. 79 00:04:50.000 --> 00:04:53.600 He's going to think about it even more and he's going to be in his 80 00:04:53.600 --> 00:04:57.300 mind and it's going to be in his dreams and the more he tries not to 81 00:04:57.300 --> 00:04:59.100 think about it and not to remember it. 82 00:04:59.100 --> 00:05:00.400 He's going to remember it. 83 00:05:00.400 --> 00:05:01.500 How do I know this? 84 00:05:01.500 --> 00:05:05.500 Cuz I have some degrees in Psychology and they've done some research 85 00:05:05.500 --> 00:05:11.000 on this and if you tell someone not to think about something or not to 86 00:05:11.000 --> 00:05:11.700 remember it. 87 00:05:11.700 --> 00:05:15.200 Guess what they're going to think and remember that all the time. And 88 00:05:15.200 --> 00:05:19.300 if you have kids with kid, you tell them not to look at something and 89 00:05:19.300 --> 00:05:22.100 all the suddenly start looking at it and I can't stop looking at it. 90 00:05:23.100 --> 00:05:28.800 I mean just think for a moment about your shoes what color your shoes 91 00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:31.400 are there tie shoes slip-on shoes. 92 00:05:31.400 --> 00:05:36.100 Maybe someone's not wearing shoes at all amongst us some people 93 00:05:36.100 --> 00:05:39.000 listening online may be sitting there with no shoes on. 94 00:05:39.000 --> 00:05:40.300 I just want you to think about that. 95 00:05:41.900 --> 00:05:44.800 And you say you're probably going to start thinking about that now for 96 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:46.400 the rest of my sermon and Chapel. 97 00:05:47.300 --> 00:05:50.000 And you may even start thinking about the rest of the day about your 98 00:05:50.000 --> 00:05:53.600 shoes and what they look like and how people may judge you because of 99 00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:54.900 the kind of shoes that you're wearing. 100 00:05:56.800 --> 00:06:01.600 So the idea that we have to forget it and that means once we have 101 00:06:01.600 --> 00:06:06.600 forgotten it that it is forgiven really doesn't pan out because now he 102 00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:12.300 is spending his whole life trying to forget and take this thing out of 103 00:06:12.300 --> 00:06:18.400 his mind so that he no longer has to be reminded of it and he'll know 104 00:06:18.400 --> 00:06:19.700 that he has forgiven himself. 105 00:06:19.700 --> 00:06:21.100 You see if that has happened. 106 00:06:21.100 --> 00:06:22.700 If that has taken place. 107 00:06:24.100 --> 00:06:28.800 So we struggle with this. You know in a way if we look at the text for 108 00:06:28.800 --> 00:06:31.300 today Joseph's brothers 109 00:06:31.300 --> 00:06:33.200 I think they're struggling with a similar thing. 110 00:06:33.200 --> 00:06:36.300 So you probably all know the story you know Joseph 111 00:06:36.300 --> 00:06:39.800 was the favorite he had this wonderful coat he wore he went out to 112 00:06:39.800 --> 00:06:40.700 see his brothers. 113 00:06:40.700 --> 00:06:42.100 They took off the coat. 114 00:06:42.100 --> 00:06:46.800 They tore it up put some animal blood on it so they could go back and 115 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:51.300 tell their father that his son had been destroyed and killed by 116 00:06:51.300 --> 00:06:52.500 ferocious animal. 117 00:06:52.500 --> 00:06:54.400 They sell Joseph into slavery. 118 00:06:54.400 --> 00:06:58.300 So they commit all these sins right and I thought that they would 119 00:06:58.300 --> 00:06:59.300 never see him again. 120 00:07:00.400 --> 00:07:04.700 For the famine comes are looking for food and water looking for food 121 00:07:04.700 --> 00:07:09.200 they run into their brother. Who would have ever thought that they 122 00:07:09.200 --> 00:07:12.600 would intersect again their path and yet here they are. 123 00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:16.500 And so this is going back to chapter 45. 124 00:07:16.500 --> 00:07:22.000 Okay, so 45 starting verse four, "then Joseph said to his brothers come 125 00:07:22.000 --> 00:07:26.300 close to me and when they had done, so he said I am your brother 126 00:07:26.300 --> 00:07:29.700 Joseph the one you sold into Egypt." 127 00:07:30.900 --> 00:07:35.500 "And now do not be distressed do not be angry with yourselves for 128 00:07:35.500 --> 00:07:39.800 selling me here because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of 129 00:07:39.800 --> 00:07:40.100 you." 130 00:07:40.100 --> 00:07:44.600 And then we're told he goes on that you hugs that mean braces that me 131 00:07:44.600 --> 00:07:45.500 kisses them. 132 00:07:45.500 --> 00:07:48.500 He doesn't use this against them. 133 00:07:48.500 --> 00:07:51.500 He forgives them he restores them. 134 00:07:51.500 --> 00:07:56.900 But it seems as if the brothers themselves are still worried 135 00:07:56.900 --> 00:08:01.300 about their actions and their sinful behavior against their brother. 136 00:08:01.300 --> 00:08:08.800 So now we go to skip a few chapters here to chapter 50 and the father 137 00:08:08.800 --> 00:08:12.300 of the brothers has died right until the brothers now, we're worried 138 00:08:12.300 --> 00:08:14.000 that because dad's dead. 139 00:08:14.000 --> 00:08:17.800 Joseph going to use this as an opportunity now to get back at them. 140 00:08:19.900 --> 00:08:24.500 And notice how Joseph responds to them almost pretty similar to how he 141 00:08:24.500 --> 00:08:25.900 does it in chapter 45. 142 00:08:27.200 --> 00:08:29.400 "He says to them do not be afraid." 143 00:08:29.400 --> 00:08:35.400 "Am I in the place of God you intended to harm me but God intended for 144 00:08:35.400 --> 00:08:36.500 good to accomplish." 145 00:08:36.500 --> 00:08:40.100 "What is now being done in the saving of many lives." 146 00:08:41.500 --> 00:08:45.000 So he reminds them again and he tells them again. 147 00:08:45.000 --> 00:08:48.300 I'm not going to use this against you even though father has died. 148 00:08:48.300 --> 00:08:51.300 I'm still not going to use this take advantage of this situation 149 00:08:51.300 --> 00:08:54.400 somehow throw you in the prison or whatever 150 00:08:54.400 --> 00:08:59.000 he could possibly do. No, he he's forgiving them and he tells them 151 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:03.100 that again that he's not using this against them. 152 00:09:03.100 --> 00:09:07.200 But for them it was kind of hard to take. And whether or not they would 153 00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:10.400 have put it in terms of his difficult to forgive themselves or not, 154 00:09:10.400 --> 00:09:15.500 I'm unsure of. But it was something that still they were reminded of 155 00:09:15.500 --> 00:09:19.400 and it keep bringing back to thought in their mind. 156 00:09:23.600 --> 00:09:26.500 Bill had the same thing going on for him. 157 00:09:27.700 --> 00:09:32.400 And his wife had to be gracious and merciful to him as well and tell 158 00:09:32.400 --> 00:09:34.400 him many times that she had forgiven him. 159 00:09:35.800 --> 00:09:39.700 Because he really wasn't believing the forgiveness that was being 160 00:09:39.700 --> 00:09:44.100 spoken to him because he felt that somehow he needed to do something. 161 00:09:44.100 --> 00:09:49.100 In order that he could forgive himself and he was standing there in 162 00:09:49.100 --> 00:09:52.100 front of me and he was wrestling with this and he was struggling with 163 00:09:52.100 --> 00:09:52.300 this. 164 00:09:52.300 --> 00:09:54.500 He says if only I could forgive myself. 165 00:09:57.000 --> 00:10:00.600 I said well, I don't think you're ever going to be able to forgive 166 00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:00.900 yourself. 167 00:10:03.400 --> 00:10:05.800 Because there's nothing that you can do. 168 00:10:07.500 --> 00:10:10.900 That will forgive the sin in which you have committed. 169 00:10:13.000 --> 00:10:18.600 Your sin can only be forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ. 170 00:10:18.600 --> 00:10:24.300 And so the problem is, is you're trying to forgive yourself rather 171 00:10:24.300 --> 00:10:29.600 than relying upon God who was already done what is needed to bring you 172 00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:30.600 this forgiveness. 173 00:10:30.600 --> 00:10:34.600 And I said to him I said, I want you to open up your Bible. 174 00:10:34.600 --> 00:10:38.100 Bible said to Romans go to Romans 8 chapter 1. 175 00:10:39.200 --> 00:10:44.400 I will ask him I said I want you to read this out loud and so he does. 176 00:10:45.400 --> 00:10:46.900 He reads it. 177 00:10:46.900 --> 00:10:47.700 Therefore 178 00:10:47.700 --> 00:10:53.400 there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because 179 00:10:53.400 --> 00:10:58.500 through Christ Jesus the law of the spirit of life set me free from 180 00:10:58.500 --> 00:11:00.200 the law of sin and death. 181 00:11:01.700 --> 00:11:04.400 And I said to him let me personalize this for you. 182 00:11:04.400 --> 00:11:05.200 Alright. 183 00:11:06.500 --> 00:11:07.500 I said Bill. 184 00:11:08.900 --> 00:11:11.300 There is no condemnation for you. 185 00:11:11.300 --> 00:11:17.700 You are not going to be condemned because of this sin because you are 186 00:11:17.700 --> 00:11:18.200 in Christ. 187 00:11:18.200 --> 00:11:24.000 You are a baptized child of God, and yes what you did was sinful but 188 00:11:24.000 --> 00:11:26.300 there's nothing that you can do to forgive yourself. 189 00:11:26.300 --> 00:11:32.800 God has already provided a way for this and he has done that through 190 00:11:32.800 --> 00:11:34.200 his son Jesus Christ. 191 00:11:34.200 --> 00:11:42.100 Your sin is forgiven because of what Jesus did and his blood is what 192 00:11:42.100 --> 00:11:46.100 covers you and covers those sins. And you know, what? 193 00:11:47.000 --> 00:11:50.500 You probably are going to remember having the affair. 194 00:11:50.500 --> 00:11:55.300 The goal should not be to stop thinking about it or to forget about it 195 00:11:55.300 --> 00:11:58.400 because now you get fixated upon that and there's nothing you can do 196 00:11:58.400 --> 00:11:59.000 with that. 197 00:11:59.000 --> 00:12:03.800 You have no control over that. But what you can do now is you can think 198 00:12:03.800 --> 00:12:06.500 about that affair and that sin differently. 199 00:12:08.200 --> 00:12:12.400 See now instead of thinking of it as something you did so bad you 200 00:12:12.400 --> 00:12:14.800 sinned so bad and you can't forgive yourself. 201 00:12:14.800 --> 00:12:15.500 Now 202 00:12:15.500 --> 00:12:17.400 this is how I want you to think about it. 203 00:12:18.500 --> 00:12:21.000 But that sin of having the affair 204 00:12:22.800 --> 00:12:26.000 has been forgiven because of Jesus. 205 00:12:28.100 --> 00:12:32.400 And you see there may be things that you struggle with your own sins. 206 00:12:32.400 --> 00:12:36.600 Things that you have done against other people, whatever that may be 207 00:12:36.600 --> 00:12:40.400 and you may even have found yourself saying I can't forgive myself. 208 00:12:43.100 --> 00:12:48.800 But be assured there's no condemnation for you because you are in 209 00:12:48.800 --> 00:12:54.400 Christ and Christ is already done what is needed in order for you to 210 00:12:54.400 --> 00:13:00.400 be forgiven. And whatever that sin is that haunts your dreams and haunts 211 00:13:00.400 --> 00:13:03.200 your thoughts during the day, whatever it may be. 212 00:13:04.800 --> 00:13:09.300 You're not probably going to forget it, but you can remember it 213 00:13:09.300 --> 00:13:09.500 differently. 214 00:13:09.500 --> 00:13:17.100 You can remember it now as a sin that has been forgiven because of the 215 00:13:17.100 --> 00:13:18.700 blood of Jesus Christ. 216 00:13:20.100 --> 00:13:23.000 Now I want to end with Psalm 217 00:13:24.800 --> 00:13:27.600 103 the first 5 verses. 218 00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:33.200 That gives us this hope and this comfort of the forgiveness of sins 219 00:13:33.200 --> 00:13:36.800 life and salvation that is in the name of Jesus. 220 00:13:39.000 --> 00:13:44.600 "Praise the Lord all my soul all my inmost being praise His. 221 00:13:44.600 --> 00:13:47.300 Holy name. Praise the Lord 222 00:13:47.300 --> 00:13:52.200 Oh my soul and forget not his benefits. 223 00:13:54.300 --> 00:14:01.900 Who forgives all your sins heals all your diseases who redeems your 224 00:14:01.900 --> 00:14:07.100 life from the pit and crowned you with love and compassion." 225 00:14:08.700 --> 00:14:14.300 "Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is 226 00:14:14.300 --> 00:14:16.200 renewed like the eagles." 227 00:14:18.200 --> 00:14:20.800 Amen. Please stand for the hymn.